If the rejected contestants on American Idol are a sampling of our culture then lack of self-esteem is definitely not an American problem. Individuals with no talent, who cannot begin to carry a tune, become angry when they are told “no.” If their parents are present they seem amazed that the judges could reject their sweet gift to the world. While it is true we should not destroy a child’s self-esteem it also seems that we do them no favor when we fill them with dreams for which they have no gift. Does love make us so blind or have we become such a child worshipping culture that cannot be honest and say to a child, “Let’s work together to find your real gift”?
When we over praise our children we do them no favor. If we create in them false expectations of success in areas in which they have no talent we do them no good. Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it” is not merely about morality, it is mainly about helping a child match abilities with opportunities. My father wanted me to be a physician. It was not my gift.
Finding the right balance of self-esteem is not easy. We should be proud of who we are. We should feel good about what we do. We should be pleased to come to the end of life and know that we have done well. That is impossible if we are never honest enough to look in the mirror and see the truth. The best truth of all is that Jesus died for us. Now there is cause for great self-esteem balanced with gratitude and humility.
Written by Roger Bothwell on February 5, 2009
Spring of Life Ministry, PO Box 124, St. Helena, CA 94574