Roger Bothwell

On my way to work this morning I noted a gas station with the lowest price I have seen in years.  I therefore purposed to stop there on my way home.  On my way home I came to a Shell station with that same price so I stopped there.   I pulled in behind a car beside a pump and immediately another car pulled in behind me.  As I got out and went to the pump I then noticed a much smaller sign that explained the cheap price was for people paying cash. Since I was using a credit card I would have to pay ten cents more per gallon.  Since I was virtually parked in I paid the extra two dollars to fill my tank.  However I will never stop there again.

It isn’t that I don’t think they should have two prices.  I just think it should be clearly indicated up on the big sign.  I felt like I had been had. I wonder how many others felt like I did and if they also decided never to come back.  Was it worth it for Shell to get an extra two dollars from customers only to permanently lose them?  I don’t think so.

As a teacher I make a point of never trapping a student.  The class prior to every exam I tell them exactly what I will be looking for and where they can find that information.  In all of our dealings we must be transparent.  When Jesus first saw Nathaniel coming to Him, Jesus said, “Behold a guileless man.  A man with no deception.”   What a great thing to have God say about.

Written by Roger Bothwell on November 20, 2008

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If we have been hurt, but don’t know we were hurt, have we really been hurt? Many years ago I was the pastor in a small southern town.  Pastors were paid according to some sophisticated cost of living scale that pertained to where the pastor lived.  While I was there the conference office with all its officialdom left the big city and came to my small town.  To help the officials absorb moving costs the living scale for my small town was raised. When asked if the higher pay rate would pertain to the Bothwells who already lived there, the decision was made that while those who were moving would be on the higher scale the Bothwells would “stay on the lower scale because they wouldn’t know about it.”  (Did they really think we wouldn’t find out?)

If you asked me if I was hurt I would most likely say, “No. It was no big deal.”  However, it certainly did not make a favorable impression because decades later I can still remember the event.  Does that mean because I remember I haven’t forgiven?  I hope not.  A lack of forgiveness on my part will never harm anyone except me.  Perhaps that is one of life’s more difficult lessons.  When we withhold forgiveness from someone we rarely hurt that someone.  It is we who are poisoned by feelings that “we” were not treated right.  We are the ones whose sleep is made restless.

When Jesus told us to forgive as we seek forgiveness for our transgressions He struck upon a fundamental psychological law.  The quality of our lives is the fruit of decisions we make regarding what has happened to us.  Over the span of our lives we most likely have received the same amount of good and bad.  The difference at the end that determines whether life has been good or bad is what we choose to forget.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 1, 2010

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If we have been hurt, but don’t know we were hurt, have we really been hurt? Many years ago I was the pastor in a small southern town.  Pastors were paid according to some sophisticated cost of living scale that pertained to where the pastor lived.  While I was there the conference office with all its officialdom left the big city and came to my small town.  To help the officials absorb moving costs the living scale for my small town was raised. When asked if the higher pay rate would pertain to the Bothwells who already lived there, the decision was made that while those who were moving would be on the higher scale the Bothwells would “stay on the lower scale because they wouldn’t know about it.”  (Did they really think we wouldn’t find out?)

If you asked me if I was hurt I would most likely say, “No. It was no big deal.”  However, it certainly did not make a favorable impression because decades later I can still remember the event.  Does that mean because I remember I haven’t forgiven?  I hope not.  A lack of forgiveness on my part will never harm anyone except me.  Perhaps that is one of life’s more difficult lessons.  When we withhold forgiveness from someone we rarely hurt that someone.  It is we who are poisoned by feelings that “we” were not treated right.  We are the ones whose sleep is made restless.

When Jesus told us to forgive as we seek forgiveness for our transgressions He struck upon a fundamental psychological law.  The quality of our lives is the fruit of decisions we make regarding what has happened to us.  Over the span of our lives we most likely have received the same amount of good and bad.  The difference at the end that determines whether life has been good or bad is what we choose to forget.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 1, 2010

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When my wife and I fly somewhere she always gets me a window seat and herself the aisle seat, which means there is a stranger sitting between us. I think I remember the pastor who married us saying something about let no man come between.  Anyway it is quite fun to note when the person in the middle discovers we are together.  That person always, I mean always, lights up and ever so generously offers to trade places with one of us so we can sit together.   At that point the light goes out of their eyes as they realize they are doomed to the center seat with no place to put their drowsing head.

There is no question but that it is easy to be generous when we get something good out of it.  I once had a guy pay me twenty dollars to trade seats so he could sit because a young lady he was wooing.  I was happy to accommodate.  Now you are wondering why I took the money and didn’t just trade seats out the goodness of my heart.  I figured he would get lots of mileage with her when she saw how much it was worth to him to sit beside her.  Isn’t it great how we can spin things?

Life works best when winning or gain is reciprocal. When both people walk away feeling satisfied because they have gotten something good makes for happiness all around.  When Jesus died on the cross He gave so much it is difficult for us to understand what He got out of it.   However, according

to Scripture He gained the right to give you and me eternal life.  I find it difficult to understand why He thinks that is a good trade.  But I am not going to argue.  I love what we got.  And He loves what He got.

Written by Roger Bothwell on April 5, 2010

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It was very quiet this morning when I went to the street for the morning paper.  It was quiet except for a family of cardinals.  Mom and dad and three adult-sized young ones were all over the yard while having a full blown conversation.  They were celebrating.  This was not the first attempt for this mom and dad.  Earlier in the summer we were watching them raise three only to have them taken by who knows what.  The couple tried again.  Again they lost their babies.  The third time was a charm.  In the words of Dora the Explorer, “They did it.”  What a happy lot they were this morning.

Loss is a part of life.  We never really own anything.  We just get to use things for a while.  It is the same with people.  For a while we get to be with them, we get to love them, but they will ultimately go away.  Or if we are fortunate we will be the first to go away.  Emily Dickenson once wrote, “Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need of hell.”

However, I do not wish to dwell upon loss.  I want to join my cardinal family and rejoice at their persistence and ultimate success.  Oh, that we all should have such fortitude.  I do not know if they suffered grief over the loss of two families.  What I do know is they kept trying and to great success. This morning there were streaks of red throughout the yard as they experienced life to its fullest.  As we age some of us realize our strongest times are history but ultimate strength is yet to come.  It is so grand to know Jesus.  He makes all the difference.

Written by Roger Bothwell on August 18, 2010

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Today was a sleepy day in New England.  It rained most of the day and the temp never went above the mid fifties.  As hard as I tried I couldn’t keep my students awake.  They settled into their chairs and within a few minutes their eyelids were settled.  I tried almost everything.  To begin class I read a fabulous passage from Romans. Only half of them seemed aware of my presence.  I walked over and called some by name.  They roused for a few minutes but soon were back in dreamland. There was a temptation to be miffed except for the fact that just yesterday I was in a faculty meeting and was in the same stupored condition.

Jesus had a similar problem with His disciples that horrible night in the garden.  But He did acknowledge their human nature.  Sometimes we just can’t stay awake. He understands His sleeping church.  We can take comfort that He never condemned the ten young women for sleeping while waiting for the groom to come to the wedding.  It is not natural to stay in a state of excitement constantly waiting for anything, let alone something we have been told for decades is at the door.

Perhaps the best thing is not to hype ourselves up every time there is an earthquake or some other horror.  The best thing is not to be event watching or studying someone’s fabricated time chart but instead establish a living, breathing, eating, walking, talking, and sleeping relationship with Jesus that is so real it doesn’t matter when He returns.  Our goal should be to be so involved with Jesus that going to heaven will merely be a change of address.

Written by Roger Bothwell on October 7, 2010

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In preparation for an accrediting visit for our college we have to locate and report on the whereabouts and successes of our graduates.  No one in our department knew the whereabouts of one of last year’s psychology graduates.  We started pulling out all the stops to find him.  We asked in classes from other students.  We did computer searches.  We finally found him.  He is working in our college library.  Our psychology department is in the library basement.  His desk is immediately above mine on the first floor.  During the day he sits about five feet above me.  He was lost!  We didn’t know where he was!

His proximity to me reminds me of students who tell me they have no or little contact with God.  They go about their daily routines sealed in their own little cocoons not aware that God is so very near.  And unlike our student who was not trying to get our attention, God, who is self-revealing, has been trying to get those students attention.  This week He has painted the sugar maples on campus with luscious reds and yellows.  He has wafted 70 degree zephyrs through their hair.  He has whispered to them via lectures from Christian professors and yet they don’t perceive His wooing.

In Romans 1 Paul mentions that we are without excuse because the invisible characteristics of God are evident in the visible things He has provided us.  In the Psalms there is a wonderful verse that says, “Though I ascend to the heavens thou are there. Though I make my bed in Hell thou art there.”  Psalm 139.   How is it that someone can be so close and yet so far away?  It’s amazing!

Written by Roger Bothwell on October 25, 2010

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In one of my psych classes today we confronted the issue of our human tendency not to accept blame even in the face of our failures.  Noble Adam was quick to blame both God and Eve for his failure.  “The woman, you gave me, she made me do it.”  Last evening our phone rang at 11:30 pm.  It was someone from our college who had dialed our number instead of the number he wanted.  The number he wanted was one line below our number on his card.  Upon realizing he had the wrong person he immediately blamed the person who printed the card by saying they had the numbers inverted.  They did not.  The error was his but being human he immediately blamed someone else.  He never did apologize for calling at that hour.  Aren’t people wonderful?  Aren’t you happy to be one?

Actually I am happy to be a human.  Not only are we the top of the food chain but we are amazing creatures, who for no cause of our own, are loved by our Creator.  When He finished making us He said, “That’s very good.”   What is astonishing about Him is not only doesn’t He blame others for His mistakes (He doesn’t make any.) He accepts responsibilities for ours.  Notice I didn’t say He accepted the blame for our sins.  What I did say is He accepted the responsibility for our sins.  There is a huge difference.  He can’t be blamed other than that He gave us free choice.  It is how we use that free choice that was and is the problem.

But He did accept responsibility. He did it on the cross.  He paid for our sins and by grace we get a brand new start every day until we no longer need one.

Written by Roger Bothwell on October 19, 2010

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I’m sitting here watching a mosquito buzz about my computer screen.  It is only a matter of seconds now until he discovers me sitting so very close. I’m a nice 98.6 degree warm juicy meal. I have been known to let them eat while I watch but I’m not in the mood tonight. Should she dare to rest on me I am going to squash her flat.  Fortunately I’m not in Uganda this evening where a bite from her might send me to bed with fever and chills. Tonight I’m in Massachusetts and I just do not want an itchy red spot for a day or so.  The consequences for being her supper are quite relative ranging from annoyance to possible death.

Her bite isn’t like sin. The ultimate consequence of all sin is always the same – death.  Contrary to popular opinion there is no such thing as big sins and little sins; at least in ultimate consequences.  Some sins often seem to be little because the immediate consequences seem to be minimal or unseen.   However, something like an attitude toward others may remain hidden and unexpressed and may seem inconsequential but we are diminished by it. Our harboring it and thinking it reduces our capacity for having an ultimate day.  An ultimate day is a day with unhampered growth.   An ultimate day is like one of the days of creation in Genesis 1 where God came to the close of the day and said, “That’s good.”

I am hungry for one of those days. Wouldn’t it be so grand if at the end of a Wednesday God could look at us and say, “That’s good”?  If we can get a Wednesday then we can start praying for a Thursday.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 21, 2010

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Most of us have restore dates on our computers.  It is a marvelous feature.  Should we be invaded by some horrible virus that corrupts your system we can restore our system to a previous date when all was well.  More than once this has saved me headache and heartache.  Now all I need is a restore date for my human behavior.  Wouldn’t it be grand if we could back up and start over on a previous date?   When I say something stupid or hurt someone or violate my sense of right and wrong it would be terrific to back up and start over.

In one sense we do have that.  God is quick to forgive and forget.  Restoration is but a prayer away.   However God isn’t the only one with whom we have to cope. He’s not the problem.  It is humans that are the problem.  Hurtful words, calloused attitudes, slights, and deliberate meanness leave indelible impressions on the minds of others.  Even though they might be smart enough to forgive us (It’s always smart to forgive.  It lessens the pain.) they will have trouble forgetting what we did.

It is a rare person indeed who can forgive without the transgression forever affecting the relationship.  Once a trust has been broken it can never have the luster and shine when it was perfect.  Let’s face it.  There are no restore buttons available.  Forgiveness – yes.  Having it exactly like it was prior to the event – sorry.  Life on earth just doesn’t work that way.  It does work that way in heaven.  Isn’t God grand?  When forgiven He treats us as if we had never sinned at all.  That’s the best restore button ever.

Written by Roger Bothwell on September 3, 2010

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