On Being a Great Conversationalist

It has been more than fifty years since Dale Carnegie wrote his classic, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” In it he tells us six ways to make people like us. However, Mr. Carnegie is not the first to pass on such counsel. Paul beat him to it by 1900 years. In Colossians 4:6, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

So often when we listen to others speak we are not really listening to what they are saying, we are waiting for them to take a breath so we can jump in and tell our story or state our opinion. We want to look knowledgeable and we want others to listen to how wonderful we are. Paul would have us do just the opposite. We should be full of grace, thus making others shine. We should listen to them so we can ask them questions that would enable them to have the biggest fish story and the longest surgery scar. We should be the catalyst for another to stand out and never cut them off.

I know this is sometimes difficult, especially when our experience was wonderful. However with God’s help we can learn to be quiet. It is a rare experience for people to have others really listen to them. If we do they will be amazed at what a great conversationalist we are when we say little and let them talk. When we season with salt we use just a little. Let another be the main course.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 22, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453

Understanding God?

At the risk of getting lots of irate e-mail I will state that men have a difficult time understanding women. Men and women have two different sets of needs and two different ways of communication. Research says women come home at night and want to talk about the problems of the day. Men come home at night all talked out. When their wife tells of something horrible that happened at work he says, “Quit.” She is frustrated. She did not want him to solve her problem. She just wanted to talk. Communication between sexes is often a mystery.

When I ponder this I become aware of how difficult it then is for us to understand God. He even says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, . . .” (Isaiah 55:8) One of the great passages of Scripture is Ephesians 1:9 and 10. In it Paul, one of the smartest men who ever lived, declares to us “God made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment–to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.”

Sometimes we wonder what in heaven and earth is going on here. The answer to the mystery is it is God’s pleasure to make everything right under Jesus. Whatever it is He is waiting for has obviously not yet happened. When it does He will act quickly lest He be guilty of prolonging the pain He is so often accused of causing.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 21, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453

Persistent

A hundred years ago Francis Thompson wrote “The Hound of Heaven.” It is a poetic tale of God in pursuit of a man. Like a hound dog God gets on the trail of a man and will not give up the chase. God wants so badly to catch us. He will take us in whatever condition the capture occurs. Old, wrinkled, it matters not. He wants us. The accumulation of sins matters not. He has already dealt with those at the cross. What He wants now is the joy of redeeming us and restoring us. He has this marvelous ability to see us not as we are but what we can be. Once He has us He has all the time in eternity to polish and shine us.

I was thinking of this this evening as my dog keeps nudging me with her cold black nose. She cocks her head as if to say, “Don’t you know it is time for our evening walk.” I can tell her I am busy and create all manner of reasons for not going but she just keeps after me.

God would not let Jonah alone. Since God treats us all the same the quest for you and me is just as intent. In Jesus’ story of the prodigal son the Father went each day to look down the road and when He saw His son coming back He did not wait but ran to meet him. You can tell God you are busy and create all manner of excuses for not accepting His offer. However, He is persistent. He wants you.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 20, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453

Fizzless Christians

Last evening I left a half full can of pop in the refrigerator. This evening upon return from walking the dog I opened the frig and spotted it. Sitting down at the computer to write I put it to my lips and poured it in my mouth.
I am trying to find a word to describe it. I don’t know at what hour the last bit of fizz departed into the atmosphere but what it left behind is insipid, flat, yucky, uninspiring, tame, unexciting, bland, dull, dreary, monotonous, lackluster and boring to my taste.

It is sort of like Christians who have lost their zeal and never give a thought to the meaning of the name they carry around. In Revelation 3:15 God says to the members in Laodicea, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”
This could be compared to either ice tea or hot tea. Both are good but room temperature tea just doesn’t do it. If there had been carbonated beverages when John wrote Revelation would he have added, “I wish you had fizz.”

Fizzless Christians are such a disappointment. There is no sparkle or joy in his or her walk with the Lord. They inspire no one to come and see the reason for their abundant life. I am assuming they have an abundant life. It is a big assumption because they most likely do not or they would fizz.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 17, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453

What Is Your Gift?

One of my favorite games is Scrabble. There is a real sense of satisfaction being able to take seven scrambled letters and to rearrange them into a word, and of course the bigger the word the greater the satisfaction. It is a real boost when you can put your word along side another word and simultaneously form four or five other words. Another enjoyable event is putting down a word that is so unusual your opponents think you just made it up and they challenge you to open the dictionary and justify your play. You almost feel like expressing that childhood taunt, “I told you so. I told you so.” (Now you can see how immature I really am.)

One of my latest was “melsh” which means “mellow, soft, tender.” It is interesting how words come and go in a language. “Melsh” really has gone. In order to find it you have to go the huge Oxford English Dictionary.

I am often reminded that God gives us an array of talents, skills and abilities and it is up to us to form meaning for our lives. He could have scripted everything for us but He allows us the joy of making plans and pursuing the character we desire. If we keep Him in our lives He will bless our choice. If we choose to be a teacher He will help us be a good teacher. If we choose to be a carpenter (that was Jesus’ choice) He will help us be a great carpenter. The skills are from Him the creation is ours.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 15, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453

Give God a Call

I have a card in my hand inscribed with the name and phone number of a really old friend. I have not seen him nor talked with him for over forty years. I want to call him but I don’t know what to say. How do you catch up with someone who you no longer know? I don’t know if he has children. I don’t know if he ever married. I don’t know what he has done for a career. All I know is what he looked like when he was a boy.

I wonder if some people feel this way about God. Perhaps they knew Him when they were a child but they have not communicated with Him for a very long time. What do they say? How do they begin the dialogue? Do they say something like, “Hello God, this is Bill, remember me? I was thinking about you and decided it was time to check in?”

If I was talking to my long ago friend I would most likely ask him how he is, but do you ask God how He is? God can’t be sick so maybe it is a stupid question. However, we can hurt from more things than a cold or a headache. We can suffer from heartaches and they are the worst. Just as parents suffer when their child is hurting I am sure God suffers. So maybe asking Him how He is, is not such a stupid question. Every good parent rejoices when his or her child calls. So go ahead and call Him. You will make His day.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 16, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453

Where Is God?

In the nursing home where my mother resides there is a lady who is loudly verbally abusive of the people who so lovingly care for her. I am amazed how very patient are the caregivers. They take it with a smile. Last evening as I came by her door I heard her yell, “Hey God, what are you doing up there?”

At first I remembered Elijah on Mt. Carmel mocking the priests of Baal. Because they could not get a response Elijah asked them if Baal was on a journey or taking a nap. As a child I thought that was very funny. But I grew up and learned the people on their way to the death camps during WWII wrote on the walls of the cattle cars, “Where is God?”

And so it has been throughout the ages, men have struggled to answer the question, “If God is loving why does He allow such pain?” I along with you have heard many preachers bravely try to defend God with a variety of reasons.

Perhaps the only thing that we can say for sure is God decided to bear it with us. In Isaiah 53 we read, “Surely he has born our grief and carried our sorrows. With his stripes we are healed.” No one can ever say, “God you don’t understand.” He was here. We tortured Him to death. He knows the pain. And He promises when this is period of sin and death is over He will make all things new. Sin and death will be no more. It’s a promise worth clinging to.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 14, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453

A Forest Mystery

Last summer while walking in the forest we found a teddy bear sitting in a tree. We wondered how he got into the woods. It is difficult to imagine a small child dropped him there because it is not a place a small child would be unless he or she was with an adult and surely the adult would retrieve something as important as a lost teddy bear. The only semi-rational thing I could come up with is a dog picked it up in a yard and transported it.

I will never know for sure. Well, this afternoon, an entire year later, we saw a brown lump under a tree and sure enough it was the teddy. He survived an entire year out there without having a raccoon, a skunk or a porcupine rip him to shreds. We had snow cover from mid-November until mid-April. All that time he must have slept under the snow. He does look a bit worse for the wear.

But then we all look a bit worse for the wear of another year. And we did not spend the year outdoors under the snow. There is more gray hair, a few more wrinkles and heavier bags under our eyes. It is a bit more difficult to retrieve names of people we have not seen for years. However, this is all temporary. There is a wonderful promise in Revelation 21:5. Jesus says, “Behold I make all things new.” “All things.” That means us. We get all new parts this time manufactured to never wear out or break. It is such a grand promise.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 13, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453

God’s 911 Service

A police spokesman in West Palm Beach, Florida, has reported they have a 22-year-old man who has called 911 over 900 times in eight weeks. He did not have any emergencies.

I thought of Psalm 91:15, “He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” Right from the beginning God set up a 911 service (no phone needed). The reason I thought of this is I know a person who is fearful of most everything around him and is constantly praying for strength and protection. I certainly do not want to discourage people from bothering God with their needs because you cannot bother God. However, there needs to be a reasonable balance in life. God has given us talents, resources, brains and a task to do. Surely He is exasperated when we keep calling Him for help when we haven’t utilized what He has already given us.

Psalm 46:1 calls God an ever-present help. However, like every good parent surely He longs for us to grow up. He wants us to mature. This does not mean doing it alone but it does mean showing initiative and creativity by setting our hands to the tasks before us. He will not fail us nor depart from us but neither does He want to mow the yard for us when we have the strength to do it for ourselves.

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 11, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453

A Wrong Decision

Because our trash collectors come through our neighborhood about six in the morning most everyone puts their trash out the prior evening. As we came home this evening my wife spotted a wonderful chest one of our neighbors was throwing away. “Oh,” she said, “I would like to have that.”

I like to get my wife things she likes, especially if it is free. Therefore, I decided just as soon as it got dark I would retrieve that wonderful chest. I could not bring myself to get it during daylight lest my neighbors think of me as a dumpster diver. Isn’t pride something? My pride cost me. When I went for it, it was gone. Another neighbor beat me to it. Apparently it was someone with a bit less pride than I.

Ever since I was a boy I wondered about Acts 26:28. “Then Agrippa said unto Paul, ‘Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian.’” Did Agrippa not accept Jesus because he was not intellectually convinced or was it a matter of pride. Did he think he might lose some personal status with other dignitaries if he responded positively to Paul? I don’t know. But, what I do know is Agrippa missed out on the best thing ever offered to any person. He missed an offer to live forever.

I hope none of us ever allow our pride to interfere with our eternal future. We must never be ashamed to acknowledge Jesus. If we do acknowledge Him, He will acknowledge us before the Father. That’s a promise. See Matthew 10:32

Written by Roger Bothwell on July 10, 2003
Spring of Life, 151 Old Farm Rd. Leominster, MA 01453